Just a short update today. Feeling stronger, rode the LifeCycle for 18 fluid minutes and crept underneath my shower head for a sensational hot shower.
There is a battle going on and the battlefield is my mouth, tongue, and throat. (I’m spit spit spitting thanks, Jeff.) Which, since the primary tumor is at the base of the tongue, makes a lot of sense. I’m more observer than participant. The cancer has dug in and the chemo is attacking. Like any battle, there is “collateral damage” (oh, I love that phrase) and that damage is wrought on me. I’m not complaining rather stating the facts. The chemo is on my side but it has a distinct and harsh job to do. My doctors have given me a shelf full of potions to ease the pain. I’m learning the best way to use the meds. And you know what, they make me want to nap!
I understand now that during this middle week of the chemo cycle, I need to take a pain med as soon as I wake up. I need to use the big swatter instead of taking incremental steps that lead to the swatter after a couple hours of pain. With the pain, I can’t eat or drink and that is bad. I need protein, calories, fluid. Those three are the priority rather than some notion I have that I should avoid the la la land. It’s a battle in there and I’ve got to use the weapons at my disposal. This isn’t a boo boo on my throat, it a real tumor.
The sun is shining again today. It’s a toasty 29°F here in Worcester. We have a dusting of snow on the ground, just enough to bounce the sunlight up into the trees. No shadows on the pines. Today is peaceful in my backyard and living room.
But there is always a war going on.
Love…
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