March 13, 2010 – Grey day Spring rain

It’s one of those New England March days, grey skies and rain, that makes it hard to get going.  The whole day suggests a nap.  It’s the time when hibernation ends, so perhaps today is the precursor.  Tomorrow, we are expecting the heaviest rains in six years or so, three to six inches predicted.

Having a good day overall.  Seems my stomach is stabilizing, not quite there yet, but close.  I’m ready for a big plate of penne pasta with pomodoro sauce.  Not sure my body is, but maybe we’ll find out tonight.

Woke up this morning feeling good.  Had a Boost and checked email and my favorite sites.  Did a bit of writing and puttered around the house.  Made a double portion of Cream of Wheat for breakfast and drank a second bottle of water.  Ann woke up from an early morning nap (dogs get up at 6:00 am so does Ann) and we watched a bit of television.  We lounged in the grey light and rain, reading, watching, and talking.  Then Rudy Dog curled up next to me on the sofa and I was fast into a deep power nap.  Rudy is so good at that!

Woke up a little before noon, a few minutes before Dan arrived for a visit.  We sat around and talked about our weeks past and coming.  Dan is supposed to run in a race tomorrow and we wonder whether the rain will cancel the event.  This is New England.  Unless the course is over grass and soft ground (instead of road surface), my guess is that it will be on.

Rabbi Seth stopped by for a visit around 1:00 pm.  It’s always a pleasure to see him.  Spirituality is important while facing cancer.  Faith is intertwined with the challenges of chemo treatment.  We talked about our families.  Rabbi Seth has known Dan & Adam since they were toddlers, watched them grow through bar mitzvah years to college and into adulthood.  Our conversation also touched the nature of illness and its effect on the person; how attitude, outlook, and perseverance affect the long road of healing.  I talked about the infusion room and how it is a positive and inspiring place.  We’re all getting chemo pumped in but most everyone greets me with a smile and kind word.  Visits from Rabbi Seth boost my mood.

I’m going to plunge back into my current book, Jess Walter’s Citizen Vince.  Ann is napping (told you, it is a nap day) but my body doesn’t feel tired.  Thought it was but it said “just fooling – go and get busy, boy.”

Thanks Cousins Betsy and Arlene for your emails reminding me that I shouldn’t expect to be in a good mood everyday.  In regular (that would be pre-cancer treatment) times, I have up and down days.  Am I expecting to have all up days as I go through chemo?  Talk about unrealistic expectations!  But I do need to be aware of what’s going on emotionally, not feel sorry for myself, let myself feel sad and allow the emotions to work themselves out.

Ann’s up and we’re ordering in pasta pomodoro.  It’s a litmus test for my stomach.  If all goes well (and it should), I can start eating with more variety and abandon.  I need to put some weight on between now and Thursday.

Thanks all for your love and support.  I draw on your strength.

Love…

Richard