March 1, 2010 – Lion or lamb?

Happy March Everyone!  It’s a gray day in Worcester, temperatures in the low 40F’s.  Despite the gray, the house is bright and I’m feeling good.  We learned a lot going through the first chemo cycle as far how to handle the immediate side effects, especially the meds.  But I also have a better handle on my day.  Instead of sleeping in, I get up before 7:00 am, have my first breakfast and putter around a bit.   The dogs are always anxious for me to have my second breakfast.  They get a taste of my Cheerios with banana – but only in the kitchen at the food preparation spot.  No food for doggies from the table!  (That’s why they don’t beg, Mom & Dad!)

Mid-morning, I need a nap, and a half hour does the trick.  Today, Lacey Dog already had the couch throw pillows spoken for, but let me snuggle in and share them.  Dogs make naps sweeter.

I’m still able to read, to concentrate and fully drink in a book.  I’m really grateful because I’ll take reading over daytime TV (and most nighttime TV) any day.  I’m finishing up the novel Songs For The Butcher’s Daughter, by Peter Manseau, a gift from Burt & Charlotte.  It is a magnificent read following lives from The Pale to The Lower East Side and beyond.  Plot lines are cleverly intertwined.  The characters are complex; their growth and development contribute to the richness of the story.

I’ll pause for now.  Around 4:00 pm, the 5FU pump will have done its thing and be beeping to be removed.  Ann will free up the pump and pull out all the tubes, connectors, and copious sticky stuff that will remove what’s left of my chest hair near the port.  Chemo cycle #2 intake will be in the books.  Onward!

Well, the pump kept a pumping until almost 5:00 pm.   Ann just freed me from the tubing, etc. and I can get up and walk around without feeling for the pump.  But I know the pump is my friend, so I’ll appreciate it even if the 5FU brings me hiccups!

Finished Songs For The Butcher’s Daughter, which has a poignant and powerful conclusion.  The weaving of characters is subtle when it could be overdone.  Manseau is a marvelous writer.  Will check out his other works.  (Thanks again, Burt & Charlotte!)

It’s time for dinner #1.  My mouth is starting to feel the effects of the chemo; my taste buds are starting to go feral and my tongue is readying itself as a prime battlefield.  This is all good, the chemo is doing its work and my job is to be patient and take it a day or an hour at a time.  The care at Dana Farber Cancer Institute is the best I’ve ever experienced.  They are treating my disease while caring for me, the whole person. I feel at peace with this whole process.

Love…

Richard