April 29, 2010 – Radiation 12 [23 to go] – riding with Jesse

It’s a sunny but windy day in Eastern Massachusetts, good traveling weather.  Jesse picked me up at 7:15 am; we wanted to allow some extra time in case the traffic on The Mass Pike got dicey.  The ride in was straight into the sun.  Jesse packed some jazz, a Steven Colbert audio book, and a few CD’s for the trip.  We really didn’t need much diversion.  When you’ve known someone as long as I’ve known Jesse, there is a deep well of conversation open and waiting.  We talked about our families, especially what the kids, now adults, are doing; and how quickly that transition from toddlers to adults swept by.  Jesse & I are small business owners in Worcester.  Discussing the challenges of operating a company in this city in this economy always occupies us.  This year brings added complications and with them, a search for new solutions.  Wherever our conversation leads us, we return to family.  It’s the ultimate destination.  Qvelling is good for the soul!

We arrived at Dana Farber with plenty of time to spare.  First stop was an appointment with Nutrition, part of the preparation for tomorrow’s feeding tube insertion surgery.  The nutritionist reviewed my current food intake and approved of it.  She talked about the transitions I may go through over the next month due to the side affects of radiation.  Some patients are able to eat sufficient amounts of soft food and use the tube only for booster calories and protein snacks.  Others have more pain and difficulty swallowing and the tube becomes the primary source of nutrition.  I will meet with the nutritionist weekly both for training on using the tube and for adjusting the mix of my diet.  Some the meetings will also include the Speech & Swallow Therapist; the two fields have a large overlap.

We had a little spare time before radiation, so we went up to Head & Neck Oncology to straighten out a snafu in appointments.  With that resolved, we took an elevator ride from the 11th floor to L2, land of nuclear medicine.  I scanned in and we headed over to Little Bang’s waiting room.  It was empty.  I changed into a johnny and checked the waiting room’s monitor.  Little Bang, on time at scan in, was now in a 15-minute delay.  An older gentleman came into the waiting room, dressed for radiation.  He has the slot before me and is the veteran of our group.  After today, he has three treatments left.  We have brief conversations and his sense of humor shines, but it’s obvious that his throat is painful.  He wished me well on the tube insertion.  I congratulated him on being short.  After he went into radiation treatment room, Jeff arrived.  Today was radiation #21 for him, #12 for me.  We talked tube a bit.  Jeff asked me if I am a stomach sleeper.  I replied, no a back sleeper.  He smiled and said one of the worst parts of the tube was changing from his regular chest down sleeping position (which pushes on the tube) to his back.  Soon, my name was called for radiation.  I passed the older gentleman and wished him luck.  He wished me the same on my tube surgery.  I noticed the raw burn marks on his neck.  As I rounded the corner to the radiation treatment room, I heard Jeff congratulating him.

My radiation treatment followed its now familiar rhythm.  Today’s music was from one of Boston’s seminal New Wave bands during the punked out period of 1977-1982: Robin Lane & The Chartbusters.  From their self-titled first recording, I played “Don’t Cry”, “When Things Go Wrong”, “Without You”, “Why Do You Tell Lies”, and “I Don’t Want To Know”.  Ann & I used to catch Robin and the boys live often, before and during the early days of our marriage.  Those early 1980’s styles were rad.  The techs liked the tunes, got them dancing a bit!

On my way back to the waiting room, I passed Jeff (he has the slot after me) and he patted me on the back and wished me good luck with the tube.  I wished him the same on his treatment today.  We’re members of an exclusive club and understand what lurks in the spaces between our words.  The waiting room was full on my return.  It ebbs and flows.

Jesse & I left Dana Farber and headed around the corner to where his nephew Mark lives.  Jesse & Susan are going to take care of Mark & Jen’s dog Beso for the next week and we were picking the pup up.  We decided to have lunch before driving back to Worcester.  Mark recommended Charley’s Diner, a neighborhood landmark that opened in the 1920’s.  (I wonder if my grandparents ever ate there?)  Charley’s was great.  The food was excellent, the portions large, and the décor and ambience were from another era.  After lunch, we packed Beso into the car and drove west through light traffic.

Jesse & I had time for more conversation on the ride home, amid my swallow exercises (I checked out other cars – no one noticed the odd movements of my face.  I was disappointed!)  Beso was quiet for the entire ride.  Good doggie!

This morning, I was a bit apprehensive about the tube surgery.  Kind of odd; the thought of it hasn’t bothered me.  Go into day surgery, take a nap, wake with a tube.  Seeing Jeff and the DFCI staff today eased my apprehension.  Maybe today, I’m being a bit normal.

Please note:  if I'm coherent after the anesthesia, I'll post to the blog tomorrow.  It's possible that I'll just sleep all day and night.  So, please don't worry if I miss a day.  I will try to at least get a few words up here.

Thanks all for your support and comfort.  Having you along with me on this journey makes the path clearer and the footholds softer.

Love…

Richard