Today is my vacation day before radiation starts. Tomorrow afternoon is the “dry run” when they hook me into the mask, fire off lasers in all directions, and align my penetration points. Wednesday, we go live. Watch for my glow on the horizon.
For today, I have no cares. I woke up hungry and with plenty of energy. After breakfast and puttering around on my computer, I set off for The Worcester Public Library and Worcester City Hall. I found an unbelievable parking place in the library lot and its meter showed an hour and eleven minutes’ time remaining. Hot stuff! Then I looked over at the library and its big sandwich sign “CLOSED ON MONDAYS!” and looked back at the parking space. Oh well! City Hall is a short hike from the library, so I set off on a walk across The Worcester Common, the oldest public common in the United States. People used to graze their farm animals there. Now, the common features a controversial skating rink. It was a big issue last election; should the city have spent the money? The sun was shining and there was a brisk but not unpleasant breeze. I greeted street people and babies in strollers. Once at City Hall, I took the elevator up to the Tax Collector floor and paid the real estate taxes for our home and my parents’ condo. I love traversing the corridors of City Hall; there are many languages in the air.
On the hike back to the library parking lot, my legs began to complain. I began to complain to myself about my level of conditioning. The first two weeks of radiation treatment are supposed to be easy, so I hope to ride my LifeCycle every other day starting tomorrow. When I reach a point where my body tells me I need to rest, I’ll back down the exercise. The information packet from the Dana Farber radiation team suggests the patient maintain as much activity as is possible. The more activity, the easier the recovery and healing go.
With the Worcester library closed, I decided to head one town south to Auburn. The Auburn Public Library is open on Monday. All the Central Massachusetts libraries are part of the CMARS system and a card in the system is valid at all the member libraries. I was starting to feel tired, but I figured that Ann is going to be sitting in waiting rooms a lot over the next month (radiation is daily.) She finished her last book yesterday and it would be cruel for her to be stuck reading old magazines while I was being radiated. The ride to Auburn was easy and I found nine mysteries that I think Ann has yet to read.
In the library parking lot (no meters in Auburn), my stomach started the “I’m hungry for lunch" dance. I phoned Corner Grille and ordered a Thai Veggie Wrap, a tangy combination of assorted grilled vegetables, Thai black rice salad (with beans), topped off with tamarind sauce. It’s a two-hand sandwich. I met Ann at home during her lunch break and we spent the early afternoon together.
Dad called with a computer problem. My niece sent him some photos of his great-grandchildren via the Kodak website. A login is required and Dad was confused about the password, thinking it was the computer’s operating system making the request, not the website. When Ann left for work, Rudy Dog & I drove over to my parents’ condo to visit and “fix” Dad’s computer (success.)
Rudy gets really excited when visiting my folks. Mom was home resting her back and Rudy jumped up on her bed and rolled around on her comforter, snuggle greeting her. Dad wasn’t home yet, so we hung out on Mom’s bed. I showed her my Kindle and Mom was fascinated. She isn’t device friendly, but yet she was amazed at the screen’s clarity and the number of books the Kindle already contained. I showed her how books are downloaded and she kept saying “what a wonderful idea and what a wonderful gift!” Dad arrived home from his exercise program. Rudy gave a quiet greeting bark then ran to the door and jumped up and down around Dad. Mom asked me to show Dad the Kindle and I did. He agreed that it was amazing and wanted to see all the things it could do. Dad has a habit of pressing buttons unintentionally (makes computer and cable/DVR phone support challenging) and the Kindle has many buttons Before I could run it though its paces, I had to undo the journey Dad had embarked on within the device. The three of us sat around playing with Rudy and talking. When it was close to doggie suppertime, Rudy & I left for home.
After feeding the doggies and letting them run a while, I thought I was ready for a power nap, but my body said "No! You go blog, boy!" So here I am.
You may notice that this posting has little mention of cancer or treatments (don’t worry, starting tomorrow I’ll go all medical on you again.) I’m having that kind of day. The weekend was renewing and today my body feels good. My mind is clear and my only thoughts about radiation are Bring It On! I was hoping for a longer break between chemo and radiation, but this day has been sterling. It reminds how I will feel after my treatments. The sooner I start radiation, the sooner my treatment is complete. Onward!
Thanks everyone for your kind greetings, support, and love. I go forward with vigor because you are along for the ride, bumpy or not!
Love…
Richard
I have had a big weekend of gigging, socializing and yard work, while you and Ann had your real, non-hospital vacation (finally). I thought of you all weekend and imagined the two of you walking in the sand and hearing the wind and the water.
ReplyDeleteI thought of you, too, while in the throes of yard work. I’m a yard work duffus, just so you know. My friend, Shari, from Iowa, who knows all things flora and fauna, told me to cut back the grapevines in the alley outside our fence, if I didn’t want them to knock the fence down. She said that the vines will grow back from the main stump, but that they have to be wrangled. She suggested a folding razor saw for the project, but cautioned me to be very careful, more careful than I’d think I needed to be, and to wear long pants. I bought a folding razor saw (I already had the long pants) back in the early winter just before the weather got bad. It’s been lying there in the garage all these months. I was all eager to open ‘er up. The folding razor saw worked well on the thick vines and on a few small volunteer trees that were threatening the fence. I cut right through those vines … and then pulled. I realized, too late, that the vines were all entwined and would have to be cut apart with hedge trimmers to short enough lengths to fit into yard waste bags for a Monday pickup. It was one of those moments when I felt that sinking, “what have I done” feeling. I thought that the job of cutting up that whole mass of vines was too much for me and that I shouldn't have started all of this in the first place, that I should have left well enough alone. But, the vines were already cut down and they were a big mass blocking the alley. There was nothing to do but to work on them a little at a time until everything was wrangled into bags. I couldn’t leave the alley blocked with grape vines. I just had to keep going, even though I thought it was too much for me.
You are not a quitter by nature or nurture, I know that. I also know that there must be moments when this all seems like too much. But, there’s nothing to do but to keep going … Once you’ve started a big snarly project, you gotta just finish it up a little at a time. At some point, it’s done … and it seems like utter magic. It does to me, anyway.
Grapevines are easier and quicker than radiation and chemo, that’s for sure. But, the amazing thing is that you’re so far through this chore already. You’re through the bad-ass, hard, intensive chemo. And you felt good today. Oh, sure, you don’t have the endurance you had before chemo … But, you felt good. Think how you’ll feel when this is all over, when you’ve wrangled those tangled vines into manageable pieces that have been hauled away … gone.
I love you, my friend. You inspire me every day.