What was once a day so far away, impossible to imagine, crunched in a spreadsheet, a Where’s Waldo hidden digit, lo-ti-qued in a woman leaning against a wall in Dr. T’s office, will be here tomorrow.
I am officially short. As of approximately 10:57:59 am, I will stride from Little Bang’s haven, (LB’s bearing still sounding worn), into the trainers’ room for one more neck wrap and dream the taste of apples and know it is it not a lie but a time equation. I know the speed of post-Memorial Day mail and I want more at bats baby!
Our day at DFCI started with a flood draw and an appointment with Dr. H.. With the fresh blood numbers, H. decided that further chemo would be counter-productive. After having the port deactivated and getting a few prescriptions filled, we returned to Haed & Neck Oncology for a meeting with the Swallow Therapist.
Coming out of the Swallow Therapist office was Jeff. He looks great! We only had time for a few moments of conversation and a fist bump. Jeff said the recovery is as advertised: two more weeks of incremental side effects followed by “the day” when you wake up and realize that you feel better today than you did yesterday (that is apparently a beautiful day!)
I am fatigued. I know I have a rough two weeks head of me. But I see the recovery personally. Onward!
As for you, I held you in my dreams, sought you out in my nightmares, and understood minute-by-minute just how alive we are. Thanks for being here, for your comfort, and knowledge of us.
Love…
Richard
p.s. – Today’s music, Jeff Beck’s “Constipated Duck” from Blow By Blow and “Acsension (Edition II)” from The Major Works of John Coltrane.
ONE MORE ONE MORE... did you think it would ever arrive? So happy that part will behind you after tomorrow..
ReplyDeleteHugs
Laura
Thanks Laura - and thanks for being a rider all along this path...
ReplyDeleteFantastic! Proud of you, Richard. Wishing you many, many days on which you wake up and realize that you feel better today than you did yesterday ... and that they come soon and powerfully.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Stuart
I will imagine you on that last ride, down the hallway, port deactivated, your last dance with Little Bang, her arms waving; you, still as can be, listening like you do. I will imagine the technicians, wishing you well, glad for your sake to see you done, sorry for their sakes to see you go. You leave a sweet impression behind when you go. You always do.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow is the last day of a very important journey; living in a hotel in a foreign country; getting the hang of the language at least enough to get by; learning the way to the small, best-in-town bakery, a long enough walk away to earn the calories; recognizing the kid who rides by on his bike at the same time every day. Then comes the jetlag: It’ll take a while to get over that. But, you will get over it … at home … You’ll remember the trip from your room at home. You will remember, but you won’t be there anymore. Knowing you, you’ll remember what was good about it.
I will imagine you on that last ride, the one that seemed so very far off, the one that is here now. I know it’s not the end of the journey. There’s still a lot to do. But, this part … This part is nearly over. Thank you so much for taking us all along. We are richer for it.
Here’s to the last ride, my friend. And here’s to the next town. Onward!
AHH HOOAAHHH!!!
ReplyDeleteRichard,
ReplyDeleteI imagine you in the mask, on the table, with Jeff Beck's Constipated Duck going in the background (foreground?) Is it hard to keep still with some of these tunes going? Probably not, at the level of fatigue you've been having.
I'm so appreciative of having a window into your journey that BeJae so poetically articulates.
Thank you for sharing. I do hold you close and send lots of zooms for the next two weeks to pass quickly and easily - from Strength to Strength, as you said (about Joanie) yesterday!
Libby
With Jeffie playing Duck, me & the mask be constipated brains. Can't move a tooth with the mask on, or tongue, or...
ReplyDeleteIsn't BeJae a peach? One of these years, I'll hijack her to a Webster gathering.