When I began cancer treatment, I had a finish date tacked into my mind. Three 21-day intensive chemo cycles, 35 radiation sessions, then a "two week" healing arc. During the roller coaster ride of the intensive chemo cycles, a two week recovery arc seemed reasonable. My mouth, neck, and throat were bouncing back and forth between pain and rapid healing.
Intensive chemo was in the books and I reached a couple weeks of happy eating that extended into early radiation. As I neared the end of radiation, the challenge ahead - the healing - loomed larger.
Now I pass my days with pain patches that make me drowsy and mostly do their job. I can't drive or read or follow complex text. I have my friends & family surrounding me with love, support, and comfort - otherwise I'd be very lonely and very blue.
I have yet to start solid food (we discuss that process at Tuesday's appointments) and must reach two weeks of maintained weight without use of feeding tube before the tube can be removed and healing accelerates. Average time is 12 weeks from last radiation treatment (June 2) until tube removal. I feel hungry and though the tube fills my nutritional needs, it's not the same.
Ok, these 2-4 weeks is a blue time. I was warned and warned about that. I AM feeling better, a little fire through the blue. I will heal and be stronger. It's just hard to see sometimes.
Thanks all for being my anchors. I rely on you in so many ways and appreciate you in every way. One day, sooner I hope, we can celebrate all this growth. Right now, your love is seeing me through.
Love...
Richard
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the pain meds are good.. Nobody should suffer...YOU WILL HEA AND GET STRONGER....
ReplyDeletehugs
Sorry to read you are feeling blue. We are here for you Foxy- knowing that each day you will get a little bit better. Sleep, rest and heal. Ali would tell you that it does get better. One day at a time, and on really bad days one hour at a time.
ReplyDeleteLove you lots!
Hello, hello, my friend. I’ve been in Iowa staying at a friend’s house: lovely, peaceful, wonderful … but, without internet connection. I have missed you so much, missed your adventures in healing, your inspiring words of persistence, patience and determination. I am back and I look forward to catching up with the story of your journey over these last couple of weeks.
ReplyDeleteI wish you could go through your challenges, your triumphs, your sweet, good life without a bit of the blues. But, none of us gets that. I know that this blue time will help you appreciate and embrace the healing that is happening right now as it manifests more and more each day. The blues will feed you in the end. I know it.
I am so very happy to read you again. Thank you so much for continuing on with this journal even when the days are difficult.
Here’s to you, my friend, my inspiration. Onward.
I am thinking about you, wishing you well, knowing that this will be over with in time, the pain, the blues. I know that you are healing ... right now ... right now ...
ReplyDeleteLove to you, my friend.