Woke up around 5:00 am today, slept fitfully for an hour, then got up and coughed out my morning dry mouth which was a bit worse than usual. I generally sleep with my door open so air and moisture can circulate, but yesterday Lacey Dog decided it was time to play ball (with the bell in the center ball) around 4:15 am. Guess I have a choice of how to wake up. Good sleep is elusive. My best sleep is a deep nap. I don't know if it's a factor of the medication or the experience, but nighttime is often nightmare time. I did have a good walk yesterday, but don't/can't push myself to sleep with exercise.
Poor Lacey is likely senile at 4:15 am, wanting to start the day and play. Today, she sleeps - what does she dream? Dog dreams...
So I sit here at 7:13 am. Voluntary. It started as an overcast wet morning, but now the sun is sneaking out through the clouds. Guess I'll get up and see what the day brings. Hey, maybe I'll get one of those max naps!
I am wondering about Webster College/University Reunion 2010, the end of September, next month. When I started treatment, I though I was a lock to be there. Now it appears iffy. Fatigue is part of the equation, but so is eating. I don't think I want to go with a feeding tube still in place and the need to carry canned formula. I am eating semi-solid snacks three times a day which is good, better every week. But snacks of odd foods don't cover a recovering body's needs. I see the Swallow Therapist and Nutritionist tomorrow. Maybe they'll have some nice things to say.
Thanks all for your comfort and support. You brighten my day and give me balance.
Love...
Richard
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I hope you got very good news from your Swallow Therapist and Nutritionist. This healing business is quite a project and seems, in many ways, the worst part of this experience. But, as you said a while back, there will come a day when you feel better than you did the day before and a day when you feel even better than that and the nightmares will fade and you'll sleep at night again. You'll still be awakened by Lacey the early riser, but that can't be helped ... and you'll fall right back to sleep one of these mornings soon.
ReplyDeleteI sat outside this morning and the air was crisp and I felt the passing of summer. This is like the healing process ... It will go on and on, but, at some point, there will be a change in the air, not suddenly, but gradually you will feel the passing of this difficult season.
I know someone back in Ames who went through treatment similar to yours. I saw him briefly in June and he told me that he (finally) had his stomach tube removed and was pronounced cancer-free. Your day is coming, my friend. It's coming. Not quickly enough, no, but it's coming just the same.
Courage, tenacity, patience ... Onward!